Home Featured Stories How To Know If You’re Dating Someone Who’s As Crazy And Wild As Your Soul

How To Know If You’re Dating Someone Who’s As Crazy And Wild As Your Soul

11 min read

You had been in and out of relationships. And by the end of each, you always learn the same lesson: “sometimes, love isn’t enough”.

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You thought that you had everything figured out, but no matter how you try to please that ‘special person’, you always end up disappointing them (no matter how much you’ve changed yourself to suit their taste).

We often think that relationships is like a thing that can always be glued together no matter how broken it is. Then after each fight, you’d always get back with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and fix that ‘red flag’ problem and consistently remind each other of how both of you are too crazy and in love with each other to even think of giving up.

But no matter what you do to pick up the pieces, and not let it happen again, you get into fights. You hate and break each other and no one understands anyone and anything. Then in the end, both of you would stick to your guns and say, “Swear I am right, and you’re wrong.”

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You end up tired, stressed out and it gets to a point that it’s really toxic and that you’ve already reached your limit. You resolve fights, and get back to the same road in a week… then, eventually, you give up and feel worn out of the endless fights. You’re starting to become deadly apathetic.

PLEASE. Don’t let the wild and loving soul in you die. Once you’re ready to date, here are some pointers that you need to take note of.

How to know if you’re dating the right person that would complement your kind of crazy?

You like yourself when you’re around him/her

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According to life coach Kali Rogers, “It’s really not about them, as it is about you.”

“It’s all about what kind of person you  become, and feel like when you’re in their presence.” What do you feel when you’re around them? Do you find yourself having anxiety, or just grateful and a better person when they’re around?

“Love can sometimes bring out our insecurities, and while it might feel good in the moment, it’s not a good long term setup,” Rogers says. “Love should bring forth confidence and security.”

Study and pay attention to what you feel, and ask yourself: “Am I completely a better person when I am around him/her?”

You’re at ease when they’re around 

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“The person we dedicate energy to is The One for us,” zen psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva says.

“If you find that it is easy for you to dedicate energy to their trials and tribulations and can be at peace with them as they are, then you might be with ‘The One,’ for sure.”

Paiva believes that once you are able to accept your partner for who they are — with all of their great and not-so-great qualities, you’re certainly in READY for a lifetime partnership.

You know they’ll be there when you need them 

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“They listen and support you in a way that no one else can,” Danielle Sepulveres, sex educator and author of Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin says. 

“They provide you with a feeling of love and comfort that feels incomparable to anyone else.” If you are going to be with someone long-term, you need them to make you feel safe. And no matter what, she adds, you know they’ll be there for you: “They also instill a confidence inside you that no matter what obstacles arise, you’re going to be a team and face it together.” That’s how you’d know they’re THE ONE.

You can talk about just anything 

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Finding “The One” “means that you’re really on the same page and can just talk about anything under the sun,” she says. “You respect and admire each other and want the best for them, as you would yourself.” If you can wish for your partner all of the things you want in your own life, you’re willing to both give and receive. “Plus, you’re attracted to each other and enjoy each other.”

Loving them is easy 

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“Your partner feels easy to live with, and thinks you are too,” Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together, says.  “You feel mutually loving and caring.” You’re living a simpatico life together. “You can work together to figure out issues and plan for the future,” she says. “Things are calm and pleasant between you.”

You share the same core values 

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“You could meet someone instantly and know immediately that they are ‘The One,’ or you may not know it until your tenth date,” executive editor and founder of Cupid’s Pulse Lori Bizzoco says. “Love is complicated and there is no right or wrong way to meet your soulmate.” But when you know, YOU’LL KNOW IT. You can breathe easy.

“Sometimes it is instantaneous and sometimes they grow on you,” she adds. “However, the basic characteristics will include familiarity, being yourself, growing as a person — and you should have the same core values and ethics.” If you’ve found that, good job!

The relationship feels different from the others that you’ve had in the past 

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“There is a genuine difference in how you feel about this person,” psychologist Nicole Martinez, who is the author of eight books, including The Reality of Relationships“The things that have annoyed you in the past about people [are things] you are willing to take with this person, or they do not seem to matter.” In other words, you’re ready to make an effort amid annoyance. “Their happiness is your happiness, and you feel very supportive of them accomplishing their goals, and they feel the same in return,” she says. 🌈

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